Male perspective

The husband emerged from the bathroom 'neked' and was climbing into bed, when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache". "Perfect," her husband said. " I was just in the bathroom powdering my d*ck with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository, it's up to you!!!

Driving

A bloke is driving happily along in his car with his girlfriend when he's pulled over by the Police.

The police officer approaches him and asks: "Have you been drinking Sir?" "Why?" asks the man, "Was I driving badly?" "No" replies the Officer, "You were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat bird in the passenger seat that made me suspicious"

Funeral

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.

At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is Actually alive.

She lived for ten more years, and then dies peacefully.A ceremony is

again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch the f*cking wall!"