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Top Ten Reasons
Top Ten Reasons

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN:
1. You can speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly.
2. If other countries want to fight a war, they will do it in your country.
3. You can brew drinks out of fruit and still call it beer.
4. You are either:
a. like the Dutch, just less efficient;
b. like the French, just less romantic;
c. like the Germans.
5. Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate. The best beer.
6. No one knows anything about you, except the Dutch and French and they make fun of you.
7. More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade.
8. You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares.
9. All your famous countrymen are either imaginary or sex-offenders.
10. Face it. It's not really a country, is it?


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:
1. When speaking fast, you can make yourself sound gay.
2. Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time.
3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
4. If there's a war, you can surrender early.
5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
6. You can test your nuclear weapons in other people's countries. (Well who hasn't, eh?)
7. You can be ugly and still be a famous film star.
8. Allow other nations to march up and down your most famous street without harming your sense of national pride.
10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
1. You can have a woman president without electing her.
2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
3. You can call Budweiser beer.
4. You can be a crook and still be president
5. If you got enough money you can get elected to do anything
6. If you can breathe, you can have a gun.
7. You did put a man on the moon.
8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
9. You get to call everyone you've ever met "buddy".
10. You think your the greatest nation on earth.
10a. When you're not.
10b. At all.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN:
1. You get to pay the highest taxes in the world.
2. You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer.
3. You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24 hour ozone-hole radiation the other half.
4. You can get capital punishment for smoking dope.
5. You can go skiing in your knickers.
6. You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in football.
7. You have to be a woman to get anywhere.
8. You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing - it's fairly spacious.
9. When you're abroad, you can impress people you meet with stories about killing polar bears and shagging penguins - and they believe you.
10. You can actually get bored with blondes.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH:
1. Two World Wars and one World Cup, doo-dah, doo-dah.
2. Warm beer.
3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.
5. Union Jack underpants.
6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.
7. You can live in the past and still imagine you are a world power.
8. Bathing once a week - whether you need it or not.
9. Ditto changing underwear.
10. The "London Eye" with the non-working bits made in France.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH:
1. You ain't English!
2. You ain't English!
3. You ain't English!
4. You ain't English!
5. You ain't English!
6. You ain't English!
7. You ain't English!
8. You ain't English!
9. You ain't English!
10. You ain't English!

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN:
1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns.
4. Glorious military history prior 400 B.C.
5. Can wear sunglasses inside buildings
6. Political stability.
7. Flexible working hours.
8. Live near the Pope.
9. Can spend hours braiding a girlfriend's armpit hair.
10. Don' have to speak if hands are in pockets.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH:
1. Glorious history of influencing South American tribes.
2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.
3. You get beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc.
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
5. Everyone else make lousy paella and claims it's the real thing.
6. Honesty.
7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.
8. You get to eat bull's testicles.
9. Gibraltar
10. Supported Argentina in the Falkands war.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

...give the Germans a second chance...

1. Oktoberfest
2. Oktoberfest beer.
3. BMW
4. VW.
5. Audi.
6. Mercedes.
7. On a highway, you can travel at a speed that would get you in jail in any other country of the world.
8. You do not have to learn German as a foreign language.
9. You think Sauerkraut is delicious.
10. Contrary to common belief, laughing is not forbidden by law.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN:
1. Chicken Madras.
2. Lamb Passanda
3. Onion Bhaji
4. Bombay Potato
5. Chicken Tikka Masala
6. Rogan Josh
7. Popadoms
8. Chicken Dopiaza
9. Meat Boona
10. Kingfisher lager.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH:

1. You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH:
1. Guinness.
2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives.
3. You can get into a fight by marching down someone's road.
4. Pubs never close.
5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on.
6. No one can remember the night before.
7. Kill people you don't agree with.
8. Stew.
9. More Guinness.
10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN: (the unbiased version...)
1. It beats being an American
2. Only country to successfully invade the U.S. and burn its capital to the ground.
3. You can play ice hockey 12 months of the year, outdoors.
4. Only country to successfully invade the U.S. and burn its capital to the ground.
5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over a fresh water in a canoe?
6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularities will rise.
7. Only country to successfully invade the U.S. and burn its capital to the ground.
8. Kill grizzlies with huge f**koff shotguns and cover your house in their skins.
9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
10. Only country to successfully invade the U.S. and burn its capital to the ground.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN:
1. Know that your great-grand-dad was a murdering bar steward that no civilized nation on earth wanted.
2. Fosters Lager.
3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you.
4. Cricket captain not afraid to cry on TV.
5. Tact and sensitivity.
6. Bondi Beach.
7. Other beaches.
8. Proud of callouses and scabs around ankles inherited from chains but no outsider is allowed to comment on.
9. Drinking cold lager on the beaches.
10. Having a swim and drinking even more cold lager on the beach.




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