Posts Tagged ‘jokes’

IKEA job interview
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Grandpa’s audit

THE TAX MAN CALLS. The Taxman decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the Tax office. The taxman was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his accountant. The taxman said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not […]

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Brain Training
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Admission test

You have 20 seconds to answer the question below:   What parking spot # is the car parked in ?     click here for the answer

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Irish Divorce

The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.   “What happened Paddy?” she asks anxiously. “What happened?? I’ll tell you what happened! I sent an e-mail to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home […]

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c’est dit avec élégance

Un homme d’affaires fait la rencontre d’une très belle femme… Après quelques heures, ils conviennent de passer la nuit ensemble moyennant un montant de 500 euros que Monsieur versera à Madame.   Au petit matin, l’homme d’affaires dit à la très belle femme qu’il n’a pas d’argent sur lui mais que sa secrétaire lui enverra […]

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A Scottish love story

A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently. Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, “A penny for your thoughts, Angus.” “Well, uh, I was thinkin… perhaps it’s aboot time for a wee kiss.” […]

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Pets

The Story of Adam & Eve’s Pets Adam and Eve said, ‘Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.’ And God said, I will create a […]

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some statements

1. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead’s. 2. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol. 3. I live in my own little world but it’s OK; everyone knows me here. 4. I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with “Guess” on it. […]

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Punography

I tried to catch some fog. I mist. When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. […]

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women

WOMEN’S REVENGE   ‘Cash, check or charge?’ I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.     ‘So, do you always carry your TV remote?’ I asked.   ‘No,’ she replied, ‘but my husband […]

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a bad day
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