A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes
in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now you probably
won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the motorway.
You’re going to be ok, you’ll walk and talk again, but your penis was
severed in the accident and we couldn’t find it.”
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You have 9000€ in insurance
compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis.
They work great but they don’t come cheap. It’s roughly 1000€ an inch.”
The man perks up.
“So,” the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want. But I
understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is
something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before
and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine
incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might
be disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”
“Yes I have,” says the man.
“And has she helped you make a decision?” “Yes” says the man.
“What is your decision?” asks the doctor.
“We’re getting granite worktops for the kitchen.”